Rumors are something that affect many people, places and things. In a lifetime, its almost guaranteed you'll believe a lie. There are so many rumors and lies about this world that people don't even pay attention to it anymore. For example, most people think its required to drink 8 glasses of water a day when you really just need to drink when thirsty. Rumors are often spread in the news. An organization called Politifact consists of journalists who find about 35 political statement every week and put the on a truth-o-meter from “truth” to “pants on fire”. Additionally, the lies can be researched through truth goggles created by Dan Schultz to find out if something is true on the internet. This apparently the determination of positivity in a source. This article is interesting to those who are in to rumors in the media, but struggles to meet the proof that all of this actually works.
*people, places, and things.* you needed a comma. try to have a full circle conclusion *in a lifetime, it's...¨ you need an apostrophe maybe try to explain the truth goggles a little more
The first two sentences don't really add to my understanding of the article. Good job though connecting the second and third sentences using "for example"-- nice flow.
Get rid of/replace the "you" (no first person in annotations). To add to Matt D's comment, the sentence where you included the glasses of water should either be taken out or replaced with a more general statement.
Low, Sabina, Karin S. Frey, and Callie J. Brockman. "Gossip On The Playground: Changes Associated With Universal Intervention, Retaliation Beliefs, And Supportive Friends." School Psychology Review 39.4 (2010): 536-551. Academic Search Elite. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
This article is stating how as kids grow up, gossip and bullying increases which leads kids to either have a secure friend group that can back them up, or no real friends to help them, making the kids become depressed and feel left out. The studies done showed how when kids thought that the researchers were not listening to them, the kids would talk and gossip more openly around them about other children or teachers, leading to the researchers finding out how the kids were being bullied or bullying by gossip. The amount of kids that were being bullied by gossip increased every school year, showing how if we were to introduce the right bullying/gossip prevention into the school systems, the younger we would start, the better, because that would ultimately lead to kids spreading less rumours, and being happier with themselves and others.
This article has a very formal tone suggesting that it is aimed towards adults with a high knowledge of this subject, or people who are researching this for bullying prevention programs.
The article is good, but has some awkward phrasing that led me to confusion and I found myself often rereading sentence to get initial understanding. make sure you don't have to many complicated sentences and make them slightly shorter.
To add to Olivia and Olivia, the sentences are too long. Your whole summary without the analysis is 3 sentences long. Try to break them up to make your summary flow better and to make reading it less confusing. Also, get rid of/replace "we" in the third sentence.
DiFonzo, Nicholas. "Rumour Research Can Douse Digital Wildfires." Nature 493.7431 (2013): 135. Academic Search Elite. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
Many rumors on the internet can start huge outbursts. These are often referred to as “internet wildfires.” One false fact posted on social media can ruin a whole company. There are many motives for a person to want to post a rumor on the internet: the poster wants to please or entertain the reader, and he or she wants the reader to like or respect himself or herself. However, the gossip online can affect a person or company negatively, or even ruin its, his, or her reputation. Many scientists have been researching how these internet wildfires are started and want to know how they can be prevented. The author of this article does a good job of describing how gossip works, along with a couple examples of how something is negatively affected. However, the overall article is partially biased because rumors are only portrayed as negative.
If the poster could possibly bring down the entire company, why would the poster want, or expect the reader to respect them, or be pleased by what they are posting? And also, who is the intended audience?
Be sure to include words to help your flow from sentence to sentence-- do not assume your reader will see the connection. For example, These are often referred to as “internet wildfires.” One false fact posted on social media can ruin a whole company. Adding the words "figurative burn down" instead of "ruin" will make the connection to the previous sentence much clearer.
Finish your thought: "However, the overall article is partially biased because rumors are only portrayed as negative." Unless you provide the reader with any other way to think about rumors (in other words as somehow positive), you haven't really done anything but state the obvious.
Jacobs, Tom. "Why We Gossip, According to Science." The Week. N.p., 22 Nov. 2014.Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
Why do we gossip ? A question commonly asked in science , And finally scientists have found the answer to their question. The tests showed negative gossip obtains self confidence. The researchers write , "Negative gossip makes people concerned that their reputations may be at risk, as they may personally become targets of negative gossip in the future, which generates fear." The reason people enjoy Gossip is to feel better about themselves as a person rather than somebody else. Although negative gossip may make some people concerned about their reputation or if they will be gossiped about next. Gossip can be a tricky topic to talk about mainly because you do not know weather you will be talked about next or if even if the person you are gossiping about will find out about your gossip.
There are some grammar mistakes...there are some spaces before punctuations, gossip is capitalized in the middle of a sentence.
You should get rid of the quote from the researchers because it is too specific. Try to come up with a more general sentence or just completely remove it.
In an annotated bibliography, typically, you are not supposed to quote any text from the original document. Also you seemed to have repeated some points multiple times using the same words, so maybe you could word those in a different way to emphasize your point and make it less listy.
Tierney, John. "Can You Believe How Mean Office Gossip Can Be?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 02 Nov. 2009. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.
This article from the New York Times offers the research of gossip in several locations. The author is given the results that several ethnographers have found about students gossiping habits, teachers gossiping habits and office gossiping habits. The results are expressed clearly and are thoroughly explained. The students spend time taking turns making fun of others for social reasons while teachers are more careful and usually gossip on the people they do not like for more just reasons. Other research includes why people gossip, how they gossip and the use of gossip to ruin others careers. This article is written for the educated public and would be for those with special interest. There was a great amount of effort put into this article and would likely add a lot of specific and general information to ones research. There are no biases and the author is trustworthy and scholarly.
Try to add another example on why the kids gossip about each other if possible rather then just saying they gossip about each other for social reasons.
To reply to Justin's comment, you shouldn't add examples (sorry Justin). When you say that there are no biases, try to include what kind of bias the author avoided.
What do you mean by ¨more just reasons¨? And when you said the kids were taking turns making fun of each other, it almost sounds as if this was a group social experiment instead of observations from an ethnographer.
You can eliminate the first sentence since the second one says nearly the same thing
" The results are expressed clearly and are thoroughly explained." Save this for the analysis section-- not the summary-- and be sure to prove your point instead of having your reader take your word for it.
"for those with special interest" special interests in what exactly?
How do you know the author is trustworthy? Scholarly? Provide evidence.
"There was a great amount of effort put into this article..." How so? Proof?
Your summary is comprehensive, and you clearly took on a challenging article. I want to read it myself.
the sentence ¨ students gossiping habits, teachers gossiping habits and office gossiping habits¨ was repetitive, you could change it to...¨student, teacher, and office gossiping habits....¨
"The Effects of Gossip on Teenage Girls." The Effects of Gossip on Teenage Girls. Reece Manley, n.d. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
Teens can experience depression, anxiety, and other disorders as an effect of bullying. This article by Reece Manley mentions why teens develop disorders due to rumors, and how it can be resolved. It also mentions why gossip is created and developed within a ¨clique,¨ and that they do it to reach a hierarchy within their own group of friends. It describes how rumors can drastically lower teens self-esteem, and also their own self-confidence. Teenage girls carry around social labels, causing rumors to be created, which is a form of bullying. Teens also sometimes create rumors about other people due to jealousy. Although the article speaks generally about the effects of rumors, it does not describe what exactly causes teens to experience depression, and anxiety.
For the analysis, you could say something that the author could do to improve the article or what kind of information he might have failed to include. (P.S. Justin, you aren't supposed to include examples or detailed info in a summary/annotation)
Your use of the word ¨developed¨ seemed a bit repetitive. And though you wrote about teenage girls and rumors, what about teenage boys? Do they carry around the same labels?
West, Emily. "Bullying, Gossip, Lack of Respect Often Causes of Teen Suicide." Aberdeen American News. American News, 06 Jan. 2011. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
In this article they explain how gossip and rumors in social media today has increased the amount of teen suicides. Teens are now almost always on at least one social media application, which means they will be exposed to gossip and rumors. Teens gossip because of the need to feel involved.They also talk about how starting rumors and gossip takes the spotlight off of othert people who have been gossiped about. Once someone has been gossiped about, other people will join in and spread the rumor to be associated with other people who are gossiping. Once this happens another rumor will break out to take the spotlight of one person and move it to the next. Teens keep adding on to this gossip to prevent themselves from being apart of this horrible chain reaction. This gossip and bullying has gotten to the point with some people that they have chosen to take their own lives. Most teen suicides are linked to gossip and bullying.
For the first sentence, which is the sentence containing the main idea, you should say it more discrete, don't just come out and say ¨in this article they explain...¨ you could take that entire part out and keep the rest.
Who is/are the "they" you keep referring to? If it is the author, then "they" should be replaced with "she" or "the author" to clarify who you are talking about.
Teens gossip because of the need to feel involved.They also talk about how starting rumors and gossip takes the spotlight off of othert people who have been gossiped about. Once someone has been gossiped about, other people will join in and spread the rumor to be associated with other people who are gossiping. Once this happens another rumor will break out to take the spotlight of one person and move it to the next. Teens keep adding on to this gossip to prevent themselves from being apart of this horrible chain reaction.
You can say all of this in about a dozen words. Avoid repeating yourself like this-- you will leave more room for substantive summary and analysis.
Your first sentence talks about how gossip and rumors are increasing teen suicide, but most of your annotated bibliography does not talk about or link suicide in with the chain of rumors that is focused on.
Ryan, Shelli. "Protecting Your Business From Internet Rumors." Public Relations Tactics 11.11 (2004): 19. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
To make sure that you don't have any rumors going around your business you want to make sure that nobody will post anything about your business on social media. Rumors are spread about your business by going into internet forums and talking about that business. Its hard to stop all the internet gossip thats going around with your business because there are so many different places where that gossip and talk is being spread around. A lot of people will take offense to the posts and that is why the talk will spread like a wild fire and cause a lot of people to add on to the chat. The best way to stop this from happening is to not get involved and let it time its way out. It will eventually stop.
business was very repetitive in your bib, also it seems a little short. try adding more about what you can do to stop it. you only said one sentence of how the gossip can be stopped.
What do you mean by ¨time its way out¨? That is slightly confusing. And if companies shouldn't have people post about their businesses on social media, how can they prevent this?
Tattletales and rumormongers in the workplace can have serious consequences. Tattletales can break the trust in a workplace along with wasting the time of the management because they don’t need to know everything and can figure most of the information out on their own. Tattling is only accepted in dire circumstances like if someone was stealing. Rumormongers can also break the bonds between co workers and can seriously hurt productivity. Gossip should be dealt with swiftly and publicly to deter anyone else from trying to gossip. Once you send a message to anyone who spreads a rumor that it isn’t accepted to gossip it should stop rumormongers from trying to spread the rumors to anyone else. It is very important to keep the bonds between all people in the workplace and it’s management’s job to continue to enforce a no gossip environment. This article is highly against useless tattling and harmful gossip because they stated that it could ruin camaraderie between peers.
when you say "it is important to keep the bonds between all people in the workplace and it's management's..." it is very unclear what the message was. also you didn't use the contraction correctly.
although we know that rumormongers are people who spread rumors, some people may not know what it means, you could add in what a rumormonger is, just so people actually understand what kinsd of people you are talking about
because they don’t need to know everything and can figure most of the information out on their own.
This cause/effect relationship is unclear. What do you mean? Because tattletales don't need to know everything they can break trust? It seems it would be just to opposite. Clarify your meaning so it is consistent with the article and common sense.
also... The second sentence makes the third sentence's appearance seem choppy. Smooth out the flow by reordering your ideas.
Avoid using the second person, "you." State the intended audience instead. I think it is managers, but I'm not sure because you didn't say in your analysis section.
I agree with Francesca that many people will not know what a rumormonger is. (I didn't) And why should tattling be dealt with publicly? Wouldn't that be potentially harmful for the company if they were to be found punishing their workers in front of other people to embarrass them, even if it is to deter them?
McAndrew, Frank T. "Can Gossip Be Good?." Scientific American Mind 19.5 (2008): 26. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
We’ve been told from an early age that gossip is wrong, but statistics suggest differently. Gossip is a gate to bonding with a colleague or someone that you wouldn’t usually converse with. Yes, it can be used as a tactic to boost one’s self esteem and to put someone else down, but that’s not all gossip does. By gossiping you’re letting someone else in and by sharing the information it brings a bond along with an equal relationship.
This article reveals how gossip can be a good thing; friendships and trust can be established from talking behind someone’s back. Frank T. McAndrew is not biased against one particular side. McAndrew explains how gossip can be bad, but his views on how it can flourish new friendships is slightly stronger. The intended audience would most likely be people researching gossip or trying to understand gossip and it’s many concepts. This article is well written and convincing on how gossip is neither wrong nor right but can be used in both ways.
In this summary are you talking about how the article say that gossip is good or bad? As you said McAndrew states both the good side and bad side of gossip. You do not have anything in your summary about the good side nor bad side of gossip. This means you are missing an important part of the article that has to be added in.
This summary is comprehensive and clear throughout.
George is correct about your use of (pro)nouns.
would most likely be --- change to "likely is"
When you say the article is well written, it comes off as insincere or at least a throwaway comment since you aren't yet specific about what you mean. Well written could mean well organized, is concise, is clear, makes you laugh, etc. What do you mean? Be sure to provide an example for proof too.
Though we hear often that gossiping can create a bond, is there any evidence to show that the two participants have an equal relationship? What do you mean by equal?
Stack, Tim. "THE Good, THE Bad AND THE Gossip." Entertainment Weekly 990 (2008): 30. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
Shows with gossip are claiming the top of the charts because of their cliff-hanging anticipation. Examples such as Gossip Girl or 90210 which stars an attractive cast and lots of misunderstandings creating lots of drama. This drama and anticipation keeps the shows popular especially among teens and younger people. The shows keep the audience coming back for more to receive their weekly dose of gossip. The shows are generally not written well and have flaws. However the scripts are filled with drama which young people seem to thrive off of. The article gives many examples of gossip in the tv shows but has analysis on how the examples portray drama. The article highlights on how young people are the main audience of the shows. However the shows are written to make the audience come back for more. The script does its job as the these types of shows are some of the most popular on tv.
Don't be too specific by adding examples; I would get rid of the whole sentence that includes Gossip Girl in it. To add to Matt's comment, it looks like you have an analysis, but it isn't the last sentence. Get rid of or move the last two sentences of the paragraph.
How do you know that the shows are generally not well written and have flaws? Many people might disagree, or that may just be a part of the show to make it unique.
Tucker, Catherine, Sondra Smith-Adcock, and Heather C. Trepal. "Relational-Cultural Theory For Middle School Counselors."Professional School Counseling 14.5 (2011): 310-316. Academic Search Elite. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
People use isolation, withdrawal, and blaming to get out of emotionally challenging situations. By using these strategies you not only distance yourself from the situation but from those involved in it. Relationships are not only valued in growth but an unbalanced relationship leads to a bad relationship. To keep a balanced relationship, power and responsibility need to be hand in hand. When a balanced relationship is present a good relationship is present. When this balance is broken relationships suffer and people become disconnected. As teens go through adolescence they develop what is called the imaginary audience which makes them feel like they are always being watched; combined with the risk taking adolescents, teens see themselves and immune to harm and invulnerable; this make relationships even harder to make. This also makes teens irritable when going through developmental changes which causes changes in interests and actions. One such action could be gossip in order to satisfy these new profound interests.
Try to include relationships in your topic sentence because your summary seems to revolve around relationships. Your summary has nice flow as your analysis gets more in depth.
Lots of commas need to be added in the beginning-middle of the summary. Is this article mostly about relationships, or can you add more about gossip? You say "yourself" in the second sentence; change that to another noun because you aren't supposed to include first person subjects.
Add a clear transition from the second sentence into the third-- it's choppy. The sentences where you talk about relationships flow well. When you get to the sentence about teens, though, it comes out of the blue. Find a away to flow into that sentence instead of dropping it on your reader like that.
WOW! You used the semi-colons grammatically correctly :-)
Clarify the antecedent of "this" in the second-to-last sentence.
when you said ¨Relationships are not only valued in growth but an unbalanced relationship leads to a bad relationship¨ it said the word relationships a lot, and it took me a few tries to read it and understand what it was saying.
I don't know if the article has a focus point of gossip, but if it does, gossip is only mentioned once in the last sentence. And though you talk mainly about relationships, relationships with what? With other people? With yourself? That is a little unclear.
Drapkin, Jennifer. "The Dirty Little Secret About Gossip." Psychology Today 38.6 (2005): 54. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
Gossip is for everyone, it isn’t just for the rich and the famous. Gossip can be used in good and bad ways, for example gossip could be a good thing about you, but it could also be bad. Rumors are most of the time not entirely true, but in this specific article it talks about different gossip stories. One was about someone getting a wedding dress from Kmart which wasn’t true. Which leads me to my next point, half of the stuff we hear on TV isn’t true, its all just a big lie for publicity. Sometimes the rumors you hear are true, but they “forget” to mention certain parts of the story which makes the gossip more interesting. Also, when you hear gossip you immediately want to tell everyone you know, and that is how rumors spread. A world without gossip is like going to school without your backpack and all your books. It just doesn’t work. If you want to start good gossip, you need evidence and a believable story. Those are the dirty little secrets about gossip.
Get rid of/replace all of the "you, my, we" because they are first person, which shouldn't be used in an annotation. Also, get rid of the KMart example; there shouldn't be any examples in an annotation...try to be more general (create a bigger category).
I feel like when you say, ¨Those are the dirty little secrets about gossip.¨ You are pulling that from the title, which works, but sounds a bit strange. And I also think you didn't have to include, ¨Which leads me to my next point,¨ as this sounds a bit out of place because the two points are very similar.
Break up the first sentence-- it's a comma splice. Same goes for the second sentence. In fact, there are several more. Find and fix them in all of your annotated bibs.
"Which leads me to my next point" should be substituted with a more accurate transition. Try an echo transition here instead.
Also, when you hear gossip you immediately want to tell everyone you know, and that is how rumors spread. A world without gossip is like going to school without your backpack and all your books.
I like the comparison, but you need a transition to move the reader from "spread" to the next sentence.
Giles, Jim. "Truth Goggles." New Scientist 215.2882 (2012): 44-47. Academic Search Elite. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteRumors are something that affect many people, places and things. In a lifetime, its almost guaranteed you'll believe a lie. There are so many rumors and lies about this world that people don't even pay attention to it anymore. For example, most people think its required to drink 8 glasses of water a day when you really just need to drink when thirsty. Rumors are often spread in the news. An organization called Politifact consists of journalists who find about 35 political statement every week and put the on a truth-o-meter from “truth” to “pants on fire”. Additionally, the lies can be researched through truth goggles created by Dan Schultz to find out if something is true on the internet. This apparently the determination of positivity in a source. This article is interesting to those who are in to rumors in the media, but struggles to meet the proof that all of this actually works.
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deletetry to be as formal as possible without using contractions
Delete*people, places, and things.* you needed a comma.
Deletetry to have a full circle conclusion
*in a lifetime, it's...¨ you need an apostrophe
maybe try to explain the truth goggles a little more
I don't see where you said it was bias or not.
DeleteThe first two sentences don't really add to my understanding of the article. Good job though connecting the second and third sentences using "for example"-- nice flow.
DeleteYou might want to add a generic word or group of words that include(s) everything instead of listing. Many aspects of our lives might work instead.
DeleteLook up the author and see if he is trustworthy. Add that information to your analysis section.
DeleteAlso add Bias or not
DeleteGet rid of/replace the "you" (no first person in annotations).
DeleteTo add to Matt D's comment, the sentence where you included the glasses of water should either be taken out or replaced with a more general statement.
you were being pretty specific when you mentioned the 8 glasses of water thing.
DeleteMake sure you state if the article is being bias
DeleteAdd if the article was biased or not and possibly do some additional research on the author.
Deletethe beginning threw me off from the rest of the article.
DeleteGrammar: Wouldn't it be 35 political statements instead of statement?
DeleteAnd what are truth goggles? How do they work? Are they successful?
Low, Sabina, Karin S. Frey, and Callie J. Brockman. "Gossip On The Playground: Changes Associated With Universal Intervention, Retaliation Beliefs, And Supportive Friends." School Psychology Review 39.4 (2010): 536-551. Academic Search Elite. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteThis article is stating how as kids grow up, gossip and bullying increases which leads kids to either have a secure friend group that can back them up, or no real friends to help them, making the kids become depressed and feel left out. The studies done showed how when kids thought that the researchers were not listening to them, the kids would talk and gossip more openly around them about other children or teachers, leading to the researchers finding out how the kids were being bullied or bullying by gossip. The amount of kids that were being bullied by gossip increased every school year, showing how if we were to introduce the right bullying/gossip prevention into the school systems, the younger we would start, the better, because that would ultimately lead to kids spreading less rumours, and being happier with themselves and others.
This article has a very formal tone suggesting that it is aimed towards adults with a high knowledge of this subject, or people who are researching this for bullying prevention programs.
The article is good, but has some awkward phrasing that led me to confusion and I found myself often rereading sentence to get initial understanding. make sure you don't have to many complicated sentences and make them slightly shorter.
DeleteTry to limit the amount of commas especially in the first sentence
DeleteI agree with Olivia, I think the length of the sentences should be a little smaller. I had to keep rereading them to understand it.
DeleteYou start with the main idea in the first sentence, which works well, but you need to read it aloud again to make sure it is as clear as possible.
DeleteI agree with Adam. The commas can cause confusion.
DeleteDo not forget to put if the author was bias or not on your analysis.
DeleteAdd detail to analysis
DeleteI agree with Matt U. Otherwise this is a well written A.B.
DeleteTo add to Olivia and Olivia, the sentences are too long. Your whole summary without the analysis is 3 sentences long. Try to break them up to make your summary flow better and to make reading it less confusing.
DeleteAlso, get rid of/replace "we" in the third sentence.
I agree with olivia, a few sentences i read really confused me and were worded in a confusing way.
DeleteTry to condense your first sentence.
DeleteDiFonzo, Nicholas. "Rumour Research Can Douse Digital Wildfires." Nature 493.7431 (2013): 135. Academic Search Elite. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteMany rumors on the internet can start huge outbursts. These are often referred to as “internet wildfires.” One false fact posted on social media can ruin a whole company. There are many motives for a person to want to post a rumor on the internet: the poster wants to please or entertain the reader, and he or she wants the reader to like or respect himself or herself. However, the gossip online can affect a person or company negatively, or even ruin its, his, or her reputation. Many scientists have been researching how these internet wildfires are started and want to know how they can be prevented. The author of this article does a good job of describing how gossip works, along with a couple examples of how something is negatively affected. However, the overall article is partially biased because rumors are only portrayed as negative.
If the poster could possibly bring down the entire company, why would the poster want, or expect the reader to respect them, or be pleased by what they are posting? And also, who is the intended audience?
DeleteYou didn't mention the intended audience.
DeleteWhy is internet wildfire in quotes onlt some of the time
DeleteWhat outbursts do rumors cause?
DeleteInclude if you find the author trustworthy in your analysis.
DeleteI agree with Adam, you can leave the first internet wild fires without the quotation
DeleteUse a little more detail to prove your point in a way
DeleteI agree with Olivia V. The intended audience isn't clear.
DeleteBe sure to include words to help your flow from sentence to sentence-- do not assume your reader will see the connection. For example,
DeleteThese are often referred to as “internet wildfires.” One false fact posted on social media can ruin a whole company.
Adding the words "figurative burn down" instead of "ruin" will make the connection to the previous sentence much clearer.
Finish your thought: "However, the overall article is partially biased because rumors are only portrayed as negative."
Unless you provide the reader with any other way to think about rumors (in other words as somehow positive), you haven't really done anything but state the obvious.
i agree with riley and olivia the intended audience wasn't there.
DeleteI agree with Adam , why is it in quotations.
DeleteAdd the intended audience. Overall nice job.
DeleteJacobs, Tom. "Why We Gossip, According to Science." The Week. N.p., 22 Nov. 2014.Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteWhy do we gossip ? A question commonly asked in science , And finally scientists have found the answer to their question. The tests showed negative gossip obtains self confidence. The researchers write , "Negative gossip makes people concerned that their reputations may be at risk, as they may personally become targets of negative gossip in the future, which generates fear." The reason people enjoy Gossip is to feel better about themselves as a person rather than somebody else. Although negative gossip may make some people concerned about their reputation or if they will be gossiped about next. Gossip can be a tricky topic to talk about mainly because you do not know weather you will be talked about next or if even if the person you are gossiping about will find out about your gossip.
There are some grammar mistakes...there are some spaces before punctuations, gossip is capitalized in the middle of a sentence.
DeleteYou should get rid of the quote from the researchers because it is too specific. Try to come up with a more general sentence or just completely remove it.
In an annotated bibliography, typically, you are not supposed to quote any text from the original document. Also you seemed to have repeated some points multiple times using the same words, so maybe you could word those in a different way to emphasize your point and make it less listy.
DeleteYou do not have an analysis section. Make sure you write the intended audience in this section.
DeleteI agree with Matt, add analysis
DeleteI agree with Jessica. You shouldn't quote in an annotated bib. Try putting that information in your own words.
Deletewhat tests are you talking about? explain more about the article itself
DeleteCorrect me if I am wrong but I thought examples were not allowed in a A.B....
DeleteYour peers have accurate feedback to consider.
DeleteRevisit the checklist when you add your analysis to this.
The topic sentence including what the annotation is about wasn't included, w so we couldn't figure out what it was going to be about.
DeleteTry to get rid of the quote
DeleteTry not to start with a question. It is hard to understand what your article is about from the topic sentence.
DeleteTierney, John. "Can You Believe How Mean Office Gossip Can Be?" The New York Times. The New York Times, 02 Nov. 2009. Web. 24 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteThis article from the New York Times offers the research of gossip in several locations. The author is given the results that several ethnographers have found about students gossiping habits, teachers gossiping habits and office gossiping habits. The results are expressed clearly and are thoroughly explained. The students spend time taking turns making fun of others for social reasons while teachers are more careful and usually gossip on the people they do not like for more just reasons. Other research includes why people gossip, how they gossip and the use of gossip to ruin others careers. This article is written for the educated public and would be for those with special interest. There was a great amount of effort put into this article and would likely add a lot of specific and general information to ones research. There are no biases and the author is trustworthy and scholarly.
Try to add another example on why the kids gossip about each other if possible rather then just saying they gossip about each other for social reasons.
DeleteGrammar: "ones" at the end should be "one's"
DeleteTo reply to Justin's comment, you shouldn't add examples (sorry Justin).
When you say that there are no biases, try to include what kind of bias the author avoided.
Second sentence isn't too clear, re-read it.
DeleteWhat do you mean by ¨more just reasons¨? And when you said the kids were taking turns making fun of each other, it almost sounds as if this was a group social experiment instead of observations from an ethnographer.
Deletewhat is an ethnographer? some people may not understand
DeleteExplain a bit more about the results instead of saying how they are expressed.
Deletemake sure you clarify your sentence and explain more
DeleteJessica said what I was thinking. That caught my eye right away, read it out loud to yourself again, slowly.
DeleteYou can eliminate the first sentence since the second one says nearly the same thing
Delete" The results are expressed clearly and are thoroughly explained." Save this for the analysis section-- not the summary-- and be sure to prove your point instead of having your reader take your word for it.
"for those with special interest" special interests in what exactly?
How do you know the author is trustworthy? Scholarly? Provide evidence.
"There was a great amount of effort put into this article..." How so? Proof?
Your summary is comprehensive, and you clearly took on a challenging article. I want to read it myself.
the sentence ¨ students gossiping habits, teachers gossiping habits and office gossiping habits¨ was repetitive, you could change it to...¨student, teacher, and office gossiping habits....¨
Deleteit was good that you added in all the information that was needed. But it could be more clear.
Delete"The Effects of Gossip on Teenage Girls." The Effects of Gossip on Teenage Girls. Reece Manley, n.d. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteTeens can experience depression, anxiety, and other disorders as an effect of bullying. This article by Reece Manley mentions why teens develop disorders due to rumors, and how it can be resolved. It also mentions why gossip is created and developed within a ¨clique,¨ and that they do it to reach a hierarchy within their own group of friends. It describes how rumors can drastically lower teens self-esteem, and also their own self-confidence. Teenage girls carry around social labels, causing rumors to be created, which is a form of bullying. Teens also sometimes create rumors about other people due to jealousy. Although the article speaks generally about the effects of rumors, it does not describe what exactly causes teens to experience depression, and anxiety.
Explain who the intended audience is and if there are biases to help lengthen the analysis part of the summary.
DeleteTry to add in more details or examples of the social labels that teen girls have.
DeleteIn reply to Matt's comment include what the author was bias about or what bias he avoided.
DeleteFor the analysis, you could say something that the author could do to improve the article or what kind of information he might have failed to include. (P.S. Justin, you aren't supposed to include examples or detailed info in a summary/annotation)
Deletehow rumors can be resolved or how bullying can be resolved?
DeleteThe topic sentence doesn't relate to the entire annotated bib.
DeleteThe summary flows rather well. You don't have to lead with your main idea-- the way you began is just fine.
DeleteYour peers have provided some good suggestions on how to develop the analysis section.
It says nothing about whether it was biased or not
DeleteI think the intended audience is teenage girls but it's not clear enough
Deletewho is the intended audience
Deletethe audience and the information about the article being biased or not.
DeleteYour use of the word ¨developed¨ seemed a bit repetitive. And though you wrote about teenage girls and rumors, what about teenage boys? Do they carry around the same labels?
DeleteWest, Emily. "Bullying, Gossip, Lack of Respect Often Causes of Teen Suicide." Aberdeen American News. American News, 06 Jan. 2011. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteIn this article they explain how gossip and rumors in social media today has increased the amount of teen suicides. Teens are now almost always on at least one social media application, which means they will be exposed to gossip and rumors. Teens gossip because of the need to feel involved.They also talk about how starting rumors and gossip takes the spotlight off of othert people who have been gossiped about. Once someone has been gossiped about, other people will join in and spread the rumor to be associated with other people who are gossiping. Once this happens another rumor will break out to take the spotlight of one person and move it to the next. Teens keep adding on to this gossip to prevent themselves from being apart of this horrible chain reaction. This gossip and bullying has gotten to the point with some people that they have chosen to take their own lives. Most teen suicides are linked to gossip and bullying.
For the first sentence, which is the sentence containing the main idea, you should say it more discrete, don't just come out and say ¨in this article they explain...¨ you could take that entire part out and keep the rest.
DeleteThere is no analysis section. After your first paragraph write about the trustworthiness of the article, the biases and the intended audience.
DeleteWho is/are the "they" you keep referring to? If it is the author, then "they" should be replaced with "she" or "the author" to clarify who you are talking about.
Deletewho is "they" is it the author or someone else?
DeleteWho is your intended audience ?
DeleteTeens gossip because of the need to feel involved.They also talk about how starting rumors and gossip takes the spotlight off of othert people who have been gossiped about. Once someone has been gossiped about, other people will join in and spread the rumor to be associated with other people who are gossiping. Once this happens another rumor will break out to take the spotlight of one person and move it to the next. Teens keep adding on to this gossip to prevent themselves from being apart of this horrible chain reaction.
DeleteYou can say all of this in about a dozen words. Avoid repeating yourself like this-- you will leave more room for substantive summary and analysis.
Try and cut down on unimportant information.
DeleteI agree with Francesca....also check your grammar such as spacing
DeleteElaborate more and add more detail/analysis. Also the topic sentence is missing.
Deleteadd the important information.
DeleteYour first sentence talks about how gossip and rumors are increasing teen suicide, but most of your annotated bibliography does not talk about or link suicide in with the chain of rumors that is focused on.
DeleteRyan, Shelli. "Protecting Your Business From Internet Rumors." Public Relations Tactics 11.11 (2004): 19. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteTo make sure that you don't have any rumors going around your business you want to make sure that nobody will post anything about your business on social media. Rumors are spread about your business by going into internet forums and talking about that business. Its hard to stop all the internet gossip thats going around with your business because there are so many different places where that gossip and talk is being spread around. A lot of people will take offense to the posts and that is why the talk will spread like a wild fire and cause a lot of people to add on to the chat. The best way to stop this from happening is to not get involved and let it time its way out. It will eventually stop.
When you say business are you referring to your personal business or a business you would work at? Be more clear.
DeleteI think that you said the word business a lot throughout the annotated bib, it was kind of repetitive.
DeleteThere is no analysis section. After your first paragraph write about the trustworthiness of the article, the biases and the intended audience.
DeleteGrammar: first sentence: add comma "your business, you..."
Deletethird sentence: add apostrophe "It's..."
Throughout the summary, you say "you" a lot. This shouldn't be used in an annotation because it is not supposed to be in first person.
business was very repetitive in your bib, also it seems a little short. try adding more about what you can do to stop it. you only said one sentence of how the gossip can be stopped.
DeleteTry to find another word to put in instead of business , it is repeated a lot.
DeleteRumors are spread about your business by going into Internet forums...
DeleteYour phrasing here makes it seem like rumors are going into Internet forums and spreading themselves. I think you mean "employees."
spread like a wild fire = cliche
analysis??
Find and fix all of the apostrophe issues-- there are quite a few here.
I agree with Ryan it can be confusing.
DeleteYou said ¨make sure¨ twice in the same sentence.
DeleteI agree with Matt and Ryan, it could be confusing.
DeleteI agree with Francesca, find a replacement word for buisness.
DeleteWhat do you mean by ¨time its way out¨? That is slightly confusing. And if companies shouldn't have people post about their businesses on social media, how can they prevent this?
DeleteFalcone, Paul. "Tattletales Spell Trouble." HR Magazine 52.11 (2007): 91. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteTattletales and rumormongers in the workplace can have serious consequences. Tattletales can break the trust in a workplace along with wasting the time of the management because they don’t need to know everything and can figure most of the information out on their own. Tattling is only accepted in dire circumstances like if someone was stealing. Rumormongers can also break the bonds between co workers and can seriously hurt productivity. Gossip should be dealt with swiftly and publicly to deter anyone else from trying to gossip. Once you send a message to anyone who spreads a rumor that it isn’t accepted to gossip it should stop rumormongers from trying to spread the rumors to anyone else. It is very important to keep the bonds between all people in the workplace and it’s management’s job to continue to enforce a no gossip environment. This article is highly against useless tattling and harmful gossip because they stated that it could ruin camaraderie between peers.
Couldn't find any mistakes
DeleteThe analysis section provided is weak at one sentence. Add information on the authors reliableness and its intended audience.
DeleteGrammar: analysis sentence: "they" should be changed to "it"
DeleteIn the sixth sentence, you say "you." Change this to another noun/pronoun because an annotation should not be in first person.
when you say "it is important to keep the bonds between all people in the workplace and it's management's..." it is very unclear what the message was. also you didn't use the contraction correctly.
Deletealthough we know that rumormongers are people who spread rumors, some people may not know what it means, you could add in what a rumormonger is, just so people actually understand what kinsd of people you are talking about
Deletebecause they don’t need to know everything and can figure most of the information out on their own.
DeleteThis cause/effect relationship is unclear. What do you mean? Because tattletales don't need to know everything they can break trust? It seems it would be just to opposite. Clarify your meaning so it is consistent with the article and common sense.
also...
DeleteThe second sentence makes the third sentence's appearance seem choppy. Smooth out the flow by reordering your ideas.
Avoid using the second person, "you." State the intended audience instead. I think it is managers, but I'm not sure because you didn't say in your analysis section.
Can not find anything to fix that has not been said.
DeleteRead it out loud to yourself again
DeleteI can't find any errors that havn't already been said
Deletethe wording was a little confusing, but other than that i though it was good.
DeleteI agree with Victoria, slightly awkward phrasing, but good overall
DeleteI agree with Francesca that many people will not know what a rumormonger is. (I didn't) And why should tattling be dealt with publicly? Wouldn't that be potentially harmful for the company if they were to be found punishing their workers in front of other people to embarrass them, even if it is to deter them?
DeleteMcAndrew, Frank T. "Can Gossip Be Good?." Scientific American Mind 19.5 (2008): 26. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteWe’ve been told from an early age that gossip is wrong, but statistics suggest differently. Gossip is a gate to bonding with a colleague or someone that you wouldn’t usually converse with. Yes, it can be used as a tactic to boost one’s self esteem and to put someone else down, but that’s not all gossip does. By gossiping you’re letting someone else in and by sharing the information it brings a bond along with an equal relationship.
This article reveals how gossip can be a good thing; friendships and trust can be established from talking behind someone’s back. Frank T. McAndrew is not biased against one particular side. McAndrew explains how gossip can be bad, but his views on how it can flourish new friendships is slightly stronger. The intended audience would most likely be people researching gossip or trying to understand gossip and it’s many concepts. This article is well written and convincing on how gossip is neither wrong nor right but can be used in both ways.
Is there anything else that could be of interest in this article? If there is, elaborate on it in the analysis.
DeleteYou said "you" in the second sentence, and "you're" the fourth sentence. These nouns should be replaced because they are in the first person.
DeleteIn this summary are you talking about how the article say that gossip is good or bad? As you said McAndrew states both the good side and bad side of gossip. You do not have anything in your summary about the good side nor bad side of gossip. This means you are missing an important part of the article that has to be added in.
DeleteThis summary is comprehensive and clear throughout.
DeleteGeorge is correct about your use of (pro)nouns.
would most likely be --- change to "likely is"
When you say the article is well written, it comes off as insincere or at least a throwaway comment since you aren't yet specific about what you mean. Well written could mean well organized, is concise, is clear, makes you laugh, etc. What do you mean? Be sure to provide an example for proof too.
you later mentioned how gossip is bad, try and mention a little why he does actually think that it is bad
DeleteI agree with Francesca because this was focused on the good side of gossip instead of both like the analysis stated.
DeleteCan you expand on your main topics
Deletei dont see any other errors than what has been said.
DeleteElaborate a little more on your analysis
DeleteThough we hear often that gossiping can create a bond, is there any evidence to show that the two participants have an equal relationship? What do you mean by equal?
DeleteStack, Tim. "THE Good, THE Bad AND THE Gossip." Entertainment Weekly 990 (2008): 30. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteShows with gossip are claiming the top of the charts because of their cliff-hanging anticipation. Examples such as Gossip Girl or 90210 which stars an attractive cast and lots of misunderstandings creating lots of drama. This drama and anticipation keeps the shows popular especially among teens and younger people. The shows keep the audience coming back for more to receive their weekly dose of gossip. The shows are generally not written well and have flaws. However the scripts are filled with drama which young people seem to thrive off of. The article gives many examples of gossip in the tv shows but has analysis on how the examples portray drama. The article highlights on how young people are the main audience of the shows. However the shows are written to make the audience come back for more. The script does its job as the these types of shows are some of the most popular on tv.
climbing not claiming....¨the shows¨ start off 2 sentences in a row and same with ¨the article¨ include whether it was bias or not
DeleteThere seems to be no analysis portion. Include your opinion on the author's trustworthiness and its intended audience.
DeleteDon't be too specific by adding examples; I would get rid of the whole sentence that includes Gossip Girl in it. To add to Matt's comment, it looks like you have an analysis, but it isn't the last sentence. Get rid of or move the last two sentences of the paragraph.
DeleteYou shouldn't talk about how the article has an analysis of how the article portrays drama but you should have the analysis of the drama.
DeleteThe shows keep the audience coming back for more to receive their weekly dose of gossip. The shows are generally not written well and have flaws.
DeleteAvoid using the same sentence opener like this-- vary your style instead.
The article gives many examples of gossip in the tv shows but has analysis on how the examples portray drama.
The word "but" seems odd here. Also, what do you mean by analysis? What kind of analysis? What are the conclusions it draws?
Lastly, where is your main idea sentence? It's hard to tell from this what the article in its entirety is all about.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI agree with George, that part was specific, but you can change it with ¨new television series.....¨
DeleteIn the last sentence take away the "the" infront of these.
DeleteDon't be too specific
Deletedont add the examples its being to specific.
DeleteAdd a analysis.
DeleteThe paragraph flows well, but its a little to much detail with not enough analysis
DeleteHow do you know that the shows are generally not well written and have flaws? Many people might disagree, or that may just be a part of the show to make it unique.
DeleteTucker, Catherine, Sondra Smith-Adcock, and Heather C. Trepal. "Relational-Cultural Theory For Middle School Counselors."Professional School Counseling 14.5 (2011): 310-316. Academic Search Elite. Web. 23 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeletePeople use isolation, withdrawal, and blaming to get out of emotionally challenging situations. By using these strategies you not only distance yourself from the situation but from those involved in it. Relationships are not only valued in growth but an unbalanced relationship leads to a bad relationship. To keep a balanced relationship, power and responsibility need to be hand in hand. When a balanced relationship is present a good relationship is present. When this balance is broken relationships suffer and people become disconnected. As teens go through adolescence they develop what is called the imaginary audience which makes them feel like they are always being watched; combined with the risk taking adolescents, teens see themselves and immune to harm and invulnerable; this make relationships even harder to make. This also makes teens irritable when going through developmental changes which causes changes in interests and actions. One such action could be gossip in order to satisfy these new profound interests.
Try to include relationships in your topic sentence because your summary seems to revolve around relationships. Your summary has nice flow as your analysis gets more in depth.
DeleteDo not forget an analysis portion at the end. Include biases and the target audience.
DeleteLots of commas need to be added in the beginning-middle of the summary.
DeleteIs this article mostly about relationships, or can you add more about gossip?
You say "yourself" in the second sentence; change that to another noun because you aren't supposed to include first person subjects.
Avoid using the second person, "you," entirely.
DeleteAdd a clear transition from the second sentence into the third-- it's choppy. The sentences where you talk about relationships flow well. When you get to the sentence about teens, though, it comes out of the blue. Find a away to flow into that sentence instead of dropping it on your reader like that.
WOW! You used the semi-colons grammatically correctly :-)
Clarify the antecedent of "this" in the second-to-last sentence.
when you said ¨Relationships are not only valued in growth but an unbalanced relationship leads to a bad relationship¨ it said the word relationships a lot, and it took me a few tries to read it and understand what it was saying.
DeleteTry not to list. You might want to briefly say that there are several factor instead of listing them off.
Deletework on the sentence transitions.
DeleteDon't use 2nd person.
DeleteI agree with Victoria, sentences sound a bit choppy.
DeleteI don't know if the article has a focus point of gossip, but if it does, gossip is only mentioned once in the last sentence. And though you talk mainly about relationships, relationships with what? With other people? With yourself? That is a little unclear.
DeleteSome sentences are a little short
DeleteDrapkin, Jennifer. "The Dirty Little Secret About Gossip." Psychology Today 38.6 (2005): 54. MasterFILE Premier. Web. 21 Nov. 2014.
ReplyDeleteGossip is for everyone, it isn’t just for the rich and the famous. Gossip can be used in good and bad ways, for example gossip could be a good thing about you, but it could also be bad. Rumors are most of the time not entirely true, but in this specific article it talks about different gossip stories. One was about someone getting a wedding dress from Kmart which wasn’t true. Which leads me to my next point, half of the stuff we hear on TV isn’t true, its all just a big lie for publicity. Sometimes the rumors you hear are true, but they “forget” to mention certain parts of the story which makes the gossip more interesting. Also, when you hear gossip you immediately want to tell everyone you know, and that is how rumors spread. A world without gossip is like going to school without your backpack and all your books. It just doesn’t work. If you want to start good gossip, you need evidence and a believable story. Those are the dirty little secrets about gossip.
don't use colloquiums such as, stuff and contractions
DeleteYou didn't tell whether or not the article was bias and also you didn't tell who the intended audience was for.
DeleteTo add on to Riley, do not forget to include the authors trustworthiness in the analysis section.
DeleteGet rid of/replace all of the "you, my, we" because they are first person, which shouldn't be used in an annotation. Also, get rid of the KMart example; there shouldn't be any examples in an annotation...try to be more general (create a bigger category).
DeleteI think the part of the dress from Kmart was too specific, and you could take that out, but you used a good analogy at the end.
DeleteThe example in the beginning was repetitive in the same sentence.
DeleteTry to analyze the text from a broader stand point and remember to be as formal as possible.
DeleteI feel like when you say, ¨Those are the dirty little secrets about gossip.¨ You are pulling that from the title, which works, but sounds a bit strange. And I also think you didn't have to include, ¨Which leads me to my next point,¨ as this sounds a bit out of place because the two points are very similar.
DeleteBreak up the first sentence-- it's a comma splice. Same goes for the second sentence. In fact, there are several more. Find and fix them in all of your annotated bibs.
ReplyDelete"Which leads me to my next point" should be substituted with a more accurate transition. Try an echo transition here instead.
Also, when you hear gossip you immediately want to tell everyone you know, and that is how rumors spread. A world without gossip is like going to school without your backpack and all your books.
I like the comparison, but you need a transition to move the reader from "spread" to the next sentence.
Don't say "one was about...." find a way to work that in
Delete